Murphy Claus Returns: Gifts for the CFSL, Part 2

bigmurph23 · January 2, 2024


By: Nate Murphy (@bigmurph23)

After his stop in upstate New York Murphy Claus headed back to the factory and started prepping for his trip to B1G country. Once again he loaded up his bag of goodies and hopped in the sleigh for another round of spreading cheer, happiness, and goodwill towards rivals…okay, maybe not that last part. But let’s take a look at what Murphy Clause grabbed for the folks in the B1G. 


CFSL Santa loves a theme. And the Illini already have King Henry in the backfield. So it is only fitting that he be joined for his final run by another Royal. In this case Noir Royal, a freshman quarterback is being given the keys to the car, and the youngster is being asked to drive the veteran offensive group to the promised land. Noir will have a lot of help around him with plenty of experience to draw from. If the young prince can stay composed the Illini should have a tough offense to stop. 


Murphy Claus tried to think outside the box for the Wolverines’ gift. So he brought them a chef…well a cook…well okay, a Cooksey. Greg Cooksey will be dropping the Eastern, and calling Michigan home. Cooksey was up and down last season with the Eagles. But under new leadership, he will have the ability to shine this season. Murphy Clause also dropped off something interesting for UofM. They call him ET, Elliot Thomas. ET is from a small town outside of Roswell, New Mexico. After seemingly disappearing off of the face of the earth for a few years he suddenly resurfaced to play for Kent State last season and now phones home from Ann Arbor. 

Ohio State

While Ohio State got themselves a new toy at quarterback Murphy Claus gifted them lots of new talent on the defensive side of the ball. Nine new players signed to this Ohio State squad for Season 19. While they are looking to continue to build the offense, the gifts that Murphy Claus left them should help keep the Buckeyes in games. Guys like Titus Law, Mike Diamond, Jake James, and Seth Berlin will be veteran leaders although new to Columbus. Incoming freshman Jesse Stork, Rocky Musso, Garrett Pemberton, and Timothy Yates also parachuted from the sleigh and gave the Buckeyes depth and talent at key positions. 


On the way out to Eugene, Murphy Claus stopped in Norman and grabbed Vinny Mixon. Vinny gets dropped off and becomes the Ducks’ new AD. But it feels like there is more that can be done for the Ducks. So Murphy Claus is going to look hard to see if he can find a win in his bag for Oregon. It has been 14 consecutive games without one in Eugene. There have been some close calls, but ultimately they have come up short. Murphy Claus couldn’t find another QB in the bag, so Mr. Mixon will have to find an after-Christmas sale for one of those. 

Penn State

In a place called Happy Valley, it should be easy to spread some Christmas cheer. And Murphy Claus didn’t disappoint. On defense, the likes of Kerby Sierra, Tyleek Tyree, Mekhi Vazquez, and Brendan Fowler (along with others) will make sure opposing offenses are anything but happy. On offense, Sean Keohane will be looking to set the sky on fire throwing to Buster Cox, Lincoln Martin, Boaz Beam, and more. In all 16 five star or better gifts found their way to Beaver Stadium. 


Murphy Clause hesitated to bring anything else to Southern California after gifting the Trojans their new AD Jacob Cobb and one of his top corners Jordan Holt (who is also an up-and-coming coach in Kaki). But Murphy Claus found it in his heart and dropped off a roster full of talent on both sides of the ball. The Trojans have a mix of experience and youth on the roster including four cornerbacks that could all have a claim at CB1, a freshman quarterback in Kolten Powell who is ready to light up secondaries in the B1G, and a sophomore running back in Messiah Bishop who is ready to prove he is a number one back. Good luck to whoever is lining up against the Men of Troy this season. 


Once again Murphy Claus shows his generosity to one of the new programs. The Huskies are back and so too will be the ridiculous “Purple Reign” memes before too long. So the Huskies got a lot of great gifts this Christmas. Starting with two high-end talent running backs, Alsous Sampson and John Turner. Those two will take heat off of signal caller Owen Dart who hopped on Murph Claus’ sleigh in Athens and made his way to Seattle. Washington is much more than those three players. Murphy Claus dropped off enough to at least get the Huskie offense howling. 

One more conference down, and it is back to the factory once again for ole Murphy Clause. He needs some more beer and beef and then he’ll load up the sleigh once again and be ready to go out to visit the Big 12 and the SEC. 


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