By: Ryan Moreland (@ryanmoreland)
My current player (and me in real life) is from a small town called Accident, MD. It was given that name when Lord Baltimore asked two different men to survey properties in the area and they both accidentally picked out the same tract of land. Perhaps this is why I find hometowns so fascinating.
The CFSL has no shortage of great hometowns, but the ones that make this list are the names and stories behind the city names that I found most interesting. I narrowed the list down to my 12 favorites. Here they are in no particular order.
Sour Lake, TX
The hometown of Syracuse MLB Aaron Dartez got its name from a particularly sulphuric lake. The town’s name has served as a warning to visitors that the water from the lake might not be too refreshing. I will admit, that this is pretty simple, but something is charming about that.
Bird-in-Hand, PA
Fans of Penn State are likely tired of me bringing up the hometown of their wide receiver Boaz Beam, but I can promise you it won’t stop. As you might imagine, the town gets its name from the old saying, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” The town’s name reminds you to be grateful for what you have. And it is an awesome town name.
Forks of Salmon, CA
The north and south forks of the Salmon River meet right at the hometown of USC standout DE Jaxon Cobb. The name is self-explanatory, but it is unique and sounds like a horrible 80s new wave band. For those reasons, it made my list.
Truth or Consequences, NM
I originally loved the name of Illinois MLB Timmy Britt’s because it sounded like the setting of a John Wayne movie. But the truth behind the name is much sillier. Radio host Ralph Edwards stated on his show that he would broadcast the 10th-anniversary episode of his show in the first town to rename itself after his program. His show was, of course, titled Truth or Consequences. The name change was initially a joke and they planned on changing it back to Hot Spring, New Mexico. However, the city fell in love with Edwards, and the name stuck. They still hold a town-wide holiday every year in his honor.
Grape, MI
The name of Grape, Michigan would lead you to believe that they are well-known for their grapes and/or wine. Neither of these is true. The town took its name for its proximity to the River Raisin (which actually is known for its grapes). The city of Grape on the River Raisin sounds like it would be found in a healthy food version of Candyland. It is also the hometown of Illinois CB Bill Bass.
Hell, Michigan
The hometown of Michigan State WR Thanatos Shockley is one of the most well-known silly town names in the United States. While Hell, Michigan is well-known, the origin of the town’s name isn’t. There are many theories of how the town got its name, but nothing official. However, what we do know is the town leans into the name. There are plenty of demonic-themed stores and restaurants in Hell. So if you are looking for a Halloween vacation destination, this would be a good one.
Walla Walla, WA
The home of West Virginia TE Brian Jones is just plain fun to say. That is why it made the list. Walla Walla translates to “Place of Many Waters,” which isn’t overly interesting. But, as I said, it is fun to say.
Kastoria, Greece
Texas A&M DE Anthony Calix came from Kastoria, Greece to the CFSL. If you are like me, the name Kastoria sounds majestic and powerful. However, it translates to Beaver. There was a lot of Beaver fur trading in the area, which is how it got its name. Not quite as distinguished as you might have thought, which still strikes me as funny.
Chicken, AK
On the other side of the line from Calix is Rand Rockwell, who hails from Chicken, Alaska. If you are thinking that the original settlers just saw a bunch of chickens and decided to name their town after the animal you would be wrong. As the legend as it, there were many ptarmigans (chicken-like arctic birds) in the area, but none of the local miners that settled the area could spell ptarmigan. So, they settled on chicken. That is not a joke.
Hurricane, WV
No, they don’t get many Hurricanes in the hometown of Alabama DT Bjorn Olafsen. In fact, this town and the weather phenomenon aren’t even pronounced the same. Hurricane (pronounced HUR-uh-kun) gets its name from a group of trees all bent in the same direction as if they had survived a hurricane. The local dialect is what many blame for the change in the pronunciation.
Brisbane, Australia
I am sure you all have heard of Georgia QB Brandon Petty’s hometown, but you probably don’t know the origin of the name (I know I didn’t before this article). Australia lives up to its criminal roots with this city name. The name comes from the Scottish-Gaelic words bris and ban. Bris means ‘to break or smash’ and ban means ‘bone.’ Petty is basically from the town of Bone-Breaker. If only he was a linebacker.
Makaha, HI
There are quite a few players with Hawaiian hometowns. While all were considered for this list, only one made it. And that is because Tennessee TE Keoni Apio’s hometown has a brutal name origin. Makaha is the Hawaiian word for ‘fierce’ or ‘savage’. The town was given this name thanks to a group of bandits that once roamed the area and attacked passersby to loot their goods. Perhaps this fighting spirit was why Tennessee was so keen on landing the freshman tight end.
