By: Michael Buck (Hornsnation)
CFSL is back, and so is the annual tradition of overhyped teams, transfer portal soap operas, and players arguing on Discord like it’s their full-time job. Season 22 is shaping up to be the perfect mix of chaos and heartbreak, with USC out to crush dreams, Texas convincing themselves “this is the year,” and Auburn showing up like that drunk uncle who somehow still steals the show. Grab your popcorn, folks—this season is going to be one for the memes.
Note: These are not the official CFSL Rankings, just Horns’ opinion of how the teams should be ranked.
1. USC Trojans
If dominance were a crime, the Trojans would be serving a life sentence. Jamesyn Golde runs an offense so stacked it feels like a Madden Ultimate Team. Skye Mills and Cory Smith are human cheat codes, and Dash Delano transferring in was like Thanos collecting another Infinity Stone. On defense, Jaxon Cobb and Jayvan Hunter are the nightmares offensive lines can’t wake up from. USC’s motto isn’t “Fight On” anymore—it’s “Try and Stop Us, We Dare You.” Spoiler alert: you can’t.
2. Texas Longhorns
Texas is back! (Again. For real this time. Maybe.) Spunky Tolbert leads an offense featuring transfer Jett Sims, who hits defenses like a wrecking ball, and receivers Dylan Powell and Charlie Jo, who catch everything but feelings. Their defense, led by Jason Dawson and Valente Martinez, looks solid, but let’s be honest—Texas fans are already preparing for the heartbreak of an “almost season.” Don’t worry, though, they’ll still print the shirts.
3. Alabama Crimson Tide
Let’s be real: Alabama winning games is as predictable as finding a Rick Astley video on David Ware’s playlist. Johnny Ray Davis will be out there throwing dimes to Troy Tree and Kyle Claxon like he’s hosting a football clinic, and Billy Savage will terrorize offenses just because he can. If you’re hoping for an upset, well, don’t hold your breath—unless you want to join the Tide’s opponents on the floor.
Alabama isn’t just a team—they’re a meme that won’t quit, and they’re gonna make you cry, say goodbye, and feel like you’ve been lied to. Again.
4. Oklahoma Sooners
Oklahoma swept through the transfer portal like a tornado through the Midwest, adding Malachi Cobb, Kaleb Allen, and Akuma Hunter to a roster already full of talent. Himoteo Del Este has all the weapons he needs, and DJ Yost is there to punish defenders who dare to take a breather. But let’s not act like anyone is rooting for the Sooners to succeed. Oklahoma winning would be like your boss winning the office fantasy league—nobody’s celebrating but them.
5. Georgia Bulldogs
Georgia’s roster is like a slow-burning bonfire—you don’t notice how hot it is until it’s too late. Brandon Petty, Jett O’Riley, and Uriah Pace are quietly building one of the most efficient offenses in the country, while Jad McPherson and Jameson Lee make life miserable for opposing quarterbacks. Adding Benjamin Starks in the portal is just icing on the cake. Georgia doesn’t want the hype; they just want to leave you crying on the bus ride home.
6. LSU Tigers
LSU is basically that one friend who shows up late to the party but somehow becomes the center of attention. Tavon Moss transferring in from Clemson is a gift, and Nasir Pope looks like he’s ready to carry the offense on his back. Maria Sebastiano and Vladimir Luca still anchor a strong defense, but losing Kaleb Allen and Akuma Hunter was like getting ghosted by your crush. They’re still dangerous, but the Tigers need some new tricks.
7. Florida State Seminoles
Bear Michaels is throwing dimes, Dee Money is trucking defenders, and Rashaud Williams is making circus catches. Offensively, this team is a walking highlight reel. But defensively? Let’s just say the secondary looks like they’re auditioning for a slapstick comedy. If Nora Hill doesn’t sack every quarterback on the schedule, the Seminoles will need to score 50 points a game just to survive. And honestly? They might.
8. Clemson Tigers
Clemson’s roster is like a pack of Skittles—bright, colorful, and full of surprises. Bojack Merriweather leads an offense that might not know what it’s doing half the time but still finds the end zone. TD Hurd is a future star, and Percy King coming via the portal is a blessing. They’re inconsistent, but when they’re on? They’ll ruin your day and laugh about it later.
9. Michigan State Spartans
Michigan State is playing with fire. Cole Mantell, Arnez Gray, and Jimbo Hawk are studs, but the depth chart is thinner than a gas station receipt. Losing Jett Sims and Douglas Laurent in the portal is a gaping wound, but Barak Stone and John Baer keep the defense competitive. If Michigan State were a car, it’d be a Ferrari with three wheels—fast but one bump away from disaster.
10. Auburn Tigers
Auburn sneaks into the Top 10 not because they’re great, but because they’re Auburn. Jay Duke is still slinging it like he’s got something to prove, and Lance Lyde catches passes like he’s allergic to failure. Defensively, King DeMoura and Kane Hargrave are bounty hunters. Will they lose games they shouldn’t? Absolutely. But they’ll also ruin someone’s season just for fun. Auburn is chaos incarnate, and we love them for it.
Final Thoughts
This season is shaping up to be an absolute madhouse, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. USC looks unstoppable, but Texas, Alabama, and Oklahoma are ready to challenge the throne. Georgia and LSU quietly lurk, while Florida State and Clemson bring a spark of unpredictability. Whether it’s heartbreak, heroics, or hilarity, these Top 10 teams promise to deliver. So grab your snacks, cancel your plans, and get ready for the ride. It’s going to be glorious.
